The worst day of the year for some… This article appeared in Sin on February 13 2012.
It can’t be escaped. Every year it rolls around, yet again, sticking its nose in, like that prying elderly relative that asks you “Any boyfriend?” It’s that dreaded day. February 14. Valentine’s Day.
There are three ways to deal with Valentine’s, if you’re single. One is to sit at home, crying, into a bottle of red wine, with Adele on the stereo. The second is to go out (or stay in) with other single friends. The third is to ignore it completely.
The first option is a total non-runner. If you are contemplating this, or any version of it, let’s get the chat over now. You are not a failure if you are single. As a wise man (Baz Luhrmann) once said: “Your choices are half-chance. So are everyone else’s.” The right person is out there. And if you’re a college student- and you probably are, because you’re reading Sin– you have oceans of time to meet your life partner.
So sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself is not an option. Nor is drunk-texting the one that got away. Let’s face it, even if he (or she) responds, you’re still going to feel hideous the next day when you pick up your phone. Don’t give someone an easy ego boost and maintain your dignity. Have a trusted friend confiscate your phone if you feel worried.
Option Two is most attractive. Option Three- total obliviousness- is a difficult one to maintain, unless you have the ability to tune out both the mass media and the utterances of everyone around you. (If you do master this skill give me a call, please). Instead, round up similarly single (or even cynically attached) friends. Stay in with a good DVD- maybe something by Quentin Tarantino if you’re on an anti-romance kick. You could even watch a rom-com or two. In good company, you might even be able to laugh at your single status.
Or head out on the town. It’s a Tuesday night, meaning the Roisin Dubh is hosting its weekly silent disco. Dublin band Sounds of System Breakdown are also playing at the Roisin that night. Doubtless, the rest of Galway’s pubs and clubs will be as busy as ever. Craic is bound to be had with other singles.
A friend of mine gives some of the wisest advice I’ve ever heard on singledom. At college age, we will never be as young, attractive and free again. Why would we want to tie ourselves down at the best time of our lives? Of course, being part of a couple has its upsides. But being single has its positives too- the chief among them freedom. You can make decisions about your future that concern you alone. Putting yourself first means you can go anywhere, do anything, without having to consider someone else’s needs.
Sounds selfish? Well, maybe. But it’s a sure-fire way to ensure that you can enjoy your early twenties without regret. There’s the rest of your life to settle down.