Compliments or sex?

Those were the days (via Wikimedia Commons)

What would you prefer- sex, or a nice compliment? That’s a no-brainer, right guys? Nothing can beat sex. Girls… aren’t so sure. According to a survey conducted by Appletiser, women say a compliment makes them feel better than sex does.

So how true is latest silly survey? We might treasure the memory of the time the coolest girl in school said she liked our shoes, but surely we always remember that magical night of passion with your man from Coppers (or maybe not).

Well, maybe women only appreciate compliments so much because as the old Irish saying goes “What’s seldom is wonderful.” Irish women are not used to getting the right kind of compliment from the opposite sex. Now there are many things to love about the Irish male, but they are not too hot at smooth talk.

What?! I hear you cry. Sure didn’t I tell your one she had a fine arse?! Stop right there. The only thing worse than getting no compliment is getting a compliment which refers only to various secondary sexual characteristics. While a cheeky quip about legs can be taken the right way, if the first words you say to a girl are “your boobs are awesome” then she’s automatically going to think you’re a sleaze.

A compliment that makes her feel like a piece of meat is, in fact, the opposite of a compliment.

Also many men nowadays dispense with the traditional chat-up line altogether and proceed to insult the object of their desires. I presume she’s the object of their desires because why else would you bother insulting a complete stranger?

Last Paddy’s night I was dancing with my friends in a Galway bar when suddenly I heard a voice behind me. “You’re zero craic.”

“What?” I said. I turned to find a guy staring at me. A guy, I hasten to add, I had never seen before in my life.

“Don’t like being chatted up, do we?” he sneered. Well, maybe if he had looked like Michael Fassbender I might have forgiven him. Instead I got thick and told him I most certainly did not want to be chatted up by him.

“See,” he muttered as I turned back to my friends. “Zero craic.”

Now most reasonable people will agree that “You’re zero craic” is not much of a pick-up line, and the man in question made me into his self-fulfilling prophecy. So men, what do we ladies what to hear? A genuine, heartfelt compliment, something like “you’re beautiful” or “you’re funny” (careful with that one though…)

We women don’t demand much. We just want a six-foot, dark-haired young George Clooney lookalike, who showers us with compliments (but never sleazy ones) and presents, who has a steady, well-paying job and drives a good car. Oh and he should always take us to heaven and back in bed but never fall asleep afterwards.

Not so much to ask for, is it?

This article appeared on on April 25 2012. 

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