A touch of the Silent Hills: True Blood Season 5 Episode 5: Boot and Rally

Jessica and Bill (darkchacal via Flickr)

To my supreme annoyance, a Google search just gave me a great big massive spoiler for Episode 6, which I am planning to watch this evening. So to forewarn you, I say: SPOILERS! SPOILERS I say!

I lamented last week that True Blood had become strangely coy about sex scenes, and for a moment this episode I thought the writers were about to prove me wrong. Things were getting hot and steamy between Alcide and Sookie (my goodness Joe Manganiello, have you been working out?) but then Sookie’s heroic alcohol consumption got the better of her. In a scene strongly reminscent of The Inbetweeners, she puked all over his shoes. Unlike Simon, however, Alcide was not horny enough to continue kissing her. The moment was also ruined by the appearance of Bill and Eric at the bedroom door.

Sookie sees Eric, Bill and Alcide argue and all she hears is dogs growling. Well, that’s as may be, Sookie, but you didn’t have to shag two-thirds of the group.

In a rather unfair development, the iStakes deadline was rushed forward so that Bill and Eric had to find Russell by dawn. The constant Apple product placement is beginning to grow wearisome. We get it, vampires are uber cool, too cool to use Windows, but stop ramming it down our throats.

Using Sookie’s telepathic powers, they tracked Russell down to a deserted mental hospital. These scenes were deliciously gruesome, with rats nibbling corpses and humans being fattened in strait jackets. Russell of course was found, and he’s not quite as weak as we think. The episode ended with me, at least, being not quite sure what happened. Alcide definitely turned into a wolf, but does that mean he could possibly be on Russell’s side? Hmmm.

Jason continues to have his crisis, and he had a very disturbing dream where he was propositioned by his dead, bleeding mother, while his dad ate blood soaked cereal.

Lafayette also fell victim to a disturbing dream. Haunted by his recent evil streak (which included throwing bleach into the gumbo and wrecking Sookie’s car) he begged Jesus for help (not that one, his ex-boyfriend). Jesus turned up, minus a body, with his lips stitched together. But was it a dream? Lafayette’s mother saw him too, but then she is insane.

More talking and torture from the Authority, with Roman going on a big long monologue which reminded me of one of JD’s shoddier efforts in Scrubs. The Authority aren’t quite as kickass as they like to think they are. Give me Eric as Sheriff any day.

Speaking of kicking ass, Jessica convinced Tara, at last, that being a vampire ain’t all that bad. The latter almost drained Hoyt who is growing extremely ridiculous. Being hurt and wounded and wearing black eyeliner really doesn’t suit him.

Oh, I’m nearly out of words for my two least favourite storylines. Well Sam and Luna might be dead, killed by a gang of anti-supernatural vigilantes. Oh well, we’ll get over it in time. We found that Terry and Patrick are under a curse of an ‘ifreet’, a fire demon. My sympathies are now limited as Terry shot a dying Iraqi woman on Patrick’s (who seems to be an utter jerk) orders. Let the Ifreet at them, I say, they massacred a whole village.

Well, that’s enough politics from me. Yay, vampires. Let’s hope there’s none of this nonsense next week.

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