Lost cause? True Blood Season 5 Episode 6: Hopeless

sookiebontemps via Flickr

A review of last Sunday’s episode. Warning: SPOILERS!

I just don’t know. Surely the whole reason for placing a iStake on Eric’s toned torso is that we get to see his chest when it comes off? The coyness continues apace, with only Hoyt getting any action, if you can call being almost killed by a sleazy male vamp that.

Well, I knew, thanks to an accidental Google, what the big surprise in Hopeless was, and as a result, this episode never really got going. Maybe I’d have felt differently if it wasn’t for the spoiler.

Let’s get the bad out the way first. Sadly, Sam and Luna survived getting shot- in fact, Luna looked awfully healthy for someone with a hole in her chest. Marcus’s mother (who looks like Marcus with a dodgy red wig) will be taking care of Emma (who makes a cute little wolf cub) while they recuperate. Sam’s powers came in handy for once when Andy went to the anti-supernatural gun store we saw a few episodes back. Sam smelt the sleazy clerk’s adrenaline and saved Andy before he went to attack them.

And why do the anti-supernatural vigilantes wear Obama masks?! Is it an effort to appeal to Republicans? Because there’s little else in the show that will. Unless it’s all a conspiracy and that’s why there’s been no sex in Season 5!

Hoyt was rescued from his life of debauchery by the vigilantes, and doubtless more will be revealed next week.

While we’re still on the bad: just let the Ifreet finish off Terry and Patrick. I’ve always liked Terry, but like Sam, he shouldn’t be getting his own storylines. I felt there were two serious ‘jump-the-shark’ moments this episode; when Terry had a flashback to the exact same scene we witnessed last week, and when Holly, Sookie and Arlene had (what felt like) an eternal discussion about men being dogs. Sex and the City-style biting commentary it was not and Sookie, your experience of live men is pretty limited. The laws of TV state that when a show jumps the shark it cannot unjump it. I do love this show, so I hope we haven’t witnessed an irreversible decline. I have a nasty feeling that this is unwise optimism though.

There were positives to this episode though. I don’t mind the fairy storyline as it does actually relate to the main characters, and we have found out that the vampire that killed Sookie and Jason’s parents was drawn to them by Sookie’s blood-soaked band-aid on the backseat. Hopefully we will get a concrete explanation as to why Sookie is a fairy and the rest of her family are not. Although Jason has what Terry Pratchett might call “iron in the head,” despite the weird dreams he’s been having. It better be more convincing than the psychobabble Claude came out with at Fairy Coppers. As to who the vamp is: well, that’s a delicious possibility.

Two characters are making me stick with True Blood at the moment. The first is Eric; not just because true love lasts a lifetime, but also because during his all-too-limited screen time, he is a wonderfully wicked character. His sceptical expression during the pleading for Lilith (as an aside I much preferred Nora as a swearing sloane to her current religious maniac version) and prayer time make him exceptionally likeable. He brazenly cockblocked Alcide through hypnotism too, which was a nice touch.

The other one is, of course, Russell. His would-be execution gave us more fantastic scenery-chewing lines than anyone else had the whole season, even Pam. Apple let Roman down for the first and last time, as the i-Stake (“I don’t want to get dirty”) failed to activate. The iPhone probably ran out of battery. Russell, who is much stronger than you imagine, told Roman he’d been pompous since the Renaissance, escaped and dispatched of the Authority man with the immortal line “Peace is for pussies”. Hopefully, there will more Russell-rampaging and Eric-smirking for the second half of the season. Please. 

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