I don’t do personal blogging. I don’t like it, I don’t feel as if my life is worthy of comment or mention and I always feel like those who write excessively about themselves are basically shouting ‘look at me’ into a void that is the internet.
Tonight though I have come to some conclusions, an epiphany if you will, and if you bear with me it’ll soon be back to bitchy TV reviews and very random slices of Irish life.
My username, randomdescent, is from a poem, ‘Black Rook in Rainy Weather’, by my favourite poet, Sylvia Plath. (I don’t like much poetry as a rule).
If you care to call those spasmodic
Tricks of radiance miracles. The wait’s begun again,
The long wait for the angel.
For that rare, random descent.”
The angel happened to hop by me this evening.
So what do I want to say? All that comes to mind at the moment are cliches about life being short.
So let’s go this way. I’m 23 now. What have I achieved? On the face of it, a lot. I’ve done five years in college, coming out with an undergrad and (soon) a masters. I’ve lived on a different continent. I’ve been published locally and even internationally. I’ve come up from a fairly challenging background where I could have easily slipped through the cracks. My life could have gone another way. But it didn’t.
It’s not much of a secret among my friends that I’ve found some things in college hard to cope with. Why I struggle where others glide I will never know or understand. But as I get older, life gets seemingly simpler.
Cut the shite. Suck the poison out. Don’t bitch, and if you must, or if you slip up, don’t get drawn into fights with tongues as poison arrows. Honesty is a hard thing to practise and it can sometimes do more harm than good. But as a basic concept you’re not going too far wrong.
Life is far too short to spend time with people who make you feel bad.
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer? Bullshit. Keep your friends close and let your enemies to their own devices. Never part badly from a friend because you don’t know when or if you’ll see them again. Morbid I know, but it’s a possibility that came true for my class of 2007 last November.
As for those who hurt you, let your anger go. Write them a letter, tear it up and forget them. There are very few evil people in the world. People are thoughtless, and when they do think it’s about themselves. For all that, see the good in them. It usually outweighs the bad.
I’ve been going through this period of transition for so long now I don’t really remember what it’s like not to be in flux. This last year has been different than I expected. I expected things to be easy once I moved up here, but they weren’t.
It will soon be time for me to move yet again. I don’t know what the future will hold, but I will keep these things by my heart. I hope this post speaks to someone else like me.